Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I landed at Newark ( NJ) airport at 5.00 am (11th July), then I underwent immigration and custom officer's (CO) checking. Officer was very hot headed that time, might be some person before me had made him so ! But anyways I was the victim.
CO : "Hello, Mr.......Ra....mavat......aaaarr..!!!" :D.
I interrupted, "Sir, you can call me Ram".
CO: "Ohhkay....Ram, tell me why are you here?"
I: "I am here at MY company's client site, to add initial functionality to Tennessee Medicaid system."
CO: "Which is your company?" He looked bit surprised.
I said, "Mphasis Limited".
CO: "Are you the owner of Mphasis Limited??" :o
I said, "No no...." He said, "Just answer what I asked and be specific" Obvously I was wrong here :( (Mphasis is not MY company, its the company which I work FOR.....)
CO: "Are you carrying any eatables like biscuits, coockies etc?"
I said, "Yes" He was making some marks on some paper. CO : "Are you carrying sweets?".
"Yes".
"What?"
"As I said I have biscuits and coockies. Thats it"
"Mr. Ram, are biscuits and coockies sweets?"
I was afraid and confused, what to answer. So thought I should be straightforward, "Yes, I have biscuits and coockies which tastes like sweets. So I call them sweets."
"Mr. Ram, I mean are you carrying pickle?"......Oh my god here I came to know that Americans call pickle as sweets !
I said, "No."
"Then why you said that you are carrying sweets? Are you sure you are not carrying sweets?"
"No, Sir I am not carrying any sweets". I knew I have to answer NO here even though I was carrying pickle. ;-)
"Shall I bring your bags, and check here infront of you? If I finds any, you would be fined $500 !"
I said confidently, "Sure you can"
"Alright Mr. Ram, welcome to USA and have a safe stay here" Then he let me go. Thank god !


I landed at Nashville airport at 2:45 pm 11th July 2009. We went to claim our luggage. I needed to come down to ground floor from there, but as I didn't find any other way so I climbed on elivator (moving stairs) along with the luggage. When I tried climbing, I litteraly fallen one step down because luggage was heavy, but thank god I controlled myself. A very wierd welcome to Nashville ! :) Anyways, then I moved out of airport and hired a yellow taxi to reach to our hotel. Cab was moving from right side of the road. 1st thing which I noticed. Everything was so different. No two wheeler, rarely few taxis we can count on fingers, roads were so clean, few signals etc. He charged me 35$. Immediately I started converting this amount in INR (35 * 50 = 1750 Rs !). Goshhh...!!! Receptionist was a lady with 100+ kgs weight, fair color and too much talktative...I thought at that moment. Later on I came to know that everyone speaks too much here if needed. During the 15 min of formalities, she must have spoken about lacs of words ! I was only trying to understand what she was speaking about. Somehow I managed to grasp only the keywords, I was replying keeping in mind those keywords only ! She gave me an ATM card like thing. At last she said, "I gave each one of you, two keys". I asked Amit, "Did you got key?" Receptionist said, "Sir, the card is nothing but the key ! you just need to swipe it out." :) Again shameful incidence !

I proceed towards lift, ohh sorry..Elevator. Like in India, we three entered into elevator together along with 8-9 bags, it was too much congusted. It was an awkward feeling but anyways there were no one accept we three :D. Room was very well maintained, interior was superb. There was only on PC placed near reception for internet users. But only we three used it a lot, no one else !
Till today I have said the greet words like 'thank you', 'thanks a lot', 'you are welcome', 'no problem', 'have a good day' etc, millions of times. Everyone here greets anyone who come across, if not then you will get a good smile atleast. Most blacks...Ooopss ! please don't call them blacks, they are African-american ! Most African-americans are wierd looking people, their dressing sense is disgusting, they looks too much ugly, too much heavy weigthed. Their english is not easily understandable.
Since I came here, I have seen many english movies, the only hindi movie which I saw here was 'jo jeeta wohi sikandar' and that too online using Reddy's laptop. 'ice age 3 - 3D' is the first ever movie which I saw in american theatre 'opryland theatre', more than 24 screens are available in this theatre ! Simply superb, no? I was stunned by the dressing sense of girls around, so shorts and skimpy skirts, fantastic girls ! Don't about boys :D
So friends today I will stop here, actually there is much more to write about. Probably I would be writing it next time.......

3 comments:

  1. Fantastic dude...written well...no you can start writing fictions....



    I suppose the incident you told about NJ airport cold be a common criteria for all international flights as i do have similar experience on mumbai airport. My domestic flight to Hyderabad was delayed due to heavy rains and some of us were transferred to different flight which was about to departure from international terminal.

    I do have faced such hilarious questions as by my bad luck some knife like thing got detected in my bag during security check.

    Guard told me that there is some sharp thing in my bag and need to be removed. I surprised and said "I am surely not carrying any knife or sword, this is not my first fly. I know the rules" He said, "Sir scanner has detected it". With my bag search i struggle 20 min to find the knife. I was under impression that some body at airport must have kept it in my bag and i started thinking now if it is found, What explanation i should give?

    After log struggle of 20 min i did not find anything. all my belongings were lying on security table. I was feeling embarrassing as people (especially chek-in girls) were staring at me as if i am a terrorist and guard were standing in such a style as if they have prevented on big hijacking.

    Guard said "Sir, not exactly a knife but you may be carrying shaving razor"....

    "Oh shit! I forgot to remove it.Yes,yes you are right it must be that" and finally i found a razor in my shaving box.

    "Hushhhhh!" no explanation to be given now.

    Second step was Swine Flu test!!!

    The flight they allot me was an international one Mumbai-Hyderabad-Frankfurt.

    Swine flu test was a good (?) experience with the question doctor asked “HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A WHITE PIG?”

    The most memorizing thing in this test was the name of a lady doctor who asked me this question was “Dr. Alicia Pigni” (may be German).

    In Marathi if you translate, "डॉ. अलिसिया ड़ुकरिन"
    Hehehehehe !!!

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  2. Quite entertaining Ram....!!!!!!
    Now i think u can write "Inscrutable Americans" part -2 engrossed with ur very own experiences.... nd m sure that will be much more fun to read than the former one... :) :)

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